15th June 2018
Today was the day of Maisie’s big operation. We wake up early, 5am, so I can pump before we go down to the hospital. Shower and get ready to go.We make our way down the hill and I suddenly feel very nervous, for the first time since getting to Bristol. We hold hands all the way.We get to Maisie’s ward for 7am. She is sleeping peacefully with her pink flamingo looking over her.We take photos, hold her hand and give her lots of kisses. I look at her, scared that this could be the last time I see her breathing. I know it’s unlikely, but it’s still a possibility.The nurse takes a photo of us all together too, with us smiling through our nerves.She looks gorgeous and so relaxed.We ask how long the operation will be, but they can’t give us any answers – which is frustrating.We hold her hand and just stare at her for the next couple of hours. Telling her how much we love her, thanking her for the past few days we’ve had with her where we feel we’ve really got to know her: the true fighter she really is.And then it is time for her to go. We give her a last few kisses, and then stand back as they start to wheel her into theatre.We leave pretty much straight away. We decided we didn’t want to wait in the hospital: her nurse would call us as soon as she was out. So we went out to distract ourselves from the waiting.We went out to breakfast, looked in the shops (I couldn’t concentrate), and walked around the streets.Around midday we decided to go back to the house to wait and relax.My phone rings and I jump: but it is a my parents, come to wait with us.My mum chatted away and asked questions but I couldn’t concentrate. It was about 12:30 and I was starting to get more and more nervous. Imagining the possibility of never seeing her again. She’d been in there for four hours which seemed like long enough.It got to 1pm and I started to check my phone. Please be alright, please be alright.And then the nurse phones, a few minutes past one. She is fine, she is our of surgery and it went really well. My heart suddenly lifted!I want to run down to the hospital, but Ben is more reserved. So we slowly make our way down. I can’t wait to see her.We get into the ward finally, and she is here! Looking gorgeous as always! She had a big plaster on her head (something to monitor her in surgery) but otherwise she looks so well. She is covered in blankets to keep her temperature up.By 4pm she is awake! And we get to see those beautiful eyes. Although tired and weary from all she has been through.We then take it in turns to come and see her. My mum, my Dad and also my sister who has come to visit too. We go out for a drink at some point, and we also buy her a beautiful paper mobile that we’d seen earlier (that I’d decide to buy if it all works out). This mobile still hangs just beside our bed.I remember feeling like we were still swimming underwater, a huge weight had been lifted, but it was still hard to believe what we’d been through. It was still hard to believe that she would be alright.