It’s been a long time since my last post, and lots of things have happened.
One of those things is that now that Lowen is at school, I have a lot more time on my hands. And my number one priority is finally publishing my book: Yellow Day, a story about grief.
This book has been a long time coming. It’s been over 10 years in the making, from an idea that came to me whilst looking at the yellow algae covering the grey roof tops of Falmouth – that contrast between bright yellow and dull tiles, life and death. It has gone through a multitude of drafts and revisions, into what it’s become today: an illustrated poem about grief.
It is almost two year’s since Maisie died (which is unfathomable). But I desperately want to print it for her. I don’t want to leave it any longer, as you never know what the future holds. It is very scary putting something out there after so much work (and all I can see are errors!) but it is something I’ve wanted to do since I was small.
The ideas haven’t changed, but it is strange how many parts of it reflect life after Maisie: collecting shells for her on the beach, the wall at my parent’s house with just one single line for her height, the clothes in the wardrobe she’ll never fit into, bubble baths, candlelight, the moon and stars…
I really hope it is a book which others going through grief can take something from. It can be read without words, so hopefully children can understand it as much as adults can. I hope it might open up conversations and memories: what do you miss about that person? What reminders are there of them around you? How do you deal with those reminders? How do you feel about the passing of time: the days, the seasons, the milestones? Do you feel guilty about enjoying things when they are no longer here? How do you accept all of these things?
It’s very nearly finished now (on the home straight!) and my plan is to have it printed in time for Baby Loss Awareness Week 2020 – so keep an eye out! I want to donate the profits to the Lily Foundation in Maisie’s name, so I would be absolutely thrilled if you would buy one. They will make lovely gifts for those going through difficult times, or just if you like pretty words and pictures!
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