It has been a very long time since my last post, and life has been exceptionally busy (I am currently typing this one handed with Maisie’s baby brother in my arms – but that is another story); but today is the start of this year’s Baby Loss Awareness Week. When you’re in the baby loss community, it feels like BLAW is the only thing anyone is talking about – and it can feel all consuming. But really the week is to raise awareness to those who aren’t so aware of it – to realise how common and it is (1 in 4 pregnancies end in loss), to realise how devastating it is, and to realise how wide spread its effects can be felt. In the past pregnancy and child loss has been so quickly swept under the carpet, the unspoken taboo which is hoped will just disappear – but actually causes so much more trauma and so much more loneliness as it isn’t dealt with. Human beings need to be able to deal with death – especially the death of babies and children – it needs to be spoken about, learnt about, babies need commemorating and remembering, people need help to find ways to move through their grief, so that they can continue to live their lives, with memories of their loved babies ever present.
The Baby Loss Community which is so alive in online platforms has done so much to move this work forward. There are so many people sharing their stories – both to share their babies with the wider world, but to also help others feel less alone. There are ways of speaking, a baby loss language, which has emerged which really helps you to put your feelings into words. There are suggestions of ways to commemorate your baby: lighting candles, framing photos, searching for rainbows, memory walks, random acts of kindness, fundraising, to name a few. There are talented, sensitive people making beautiful things for you to remember your baby and for every occasion: sketches, candle holders, Christmas decorations, personalised cards. All of these things give you little stepping stones to help you through difficult waves of grief. They can never save you from you feelings – but they just lend a hand.
Giving back to the Baby Loss Community is another way I find continues to help me. Whether that be joining in the conversation, listening to others, or sharing Maisie’s story. I also hope that Yellow Day brings comfort to others who have experienced baby loss. It’s almost unbelievable when I hear from strangers how the book has made them feel – how it really speaks to them. It is all I could ever have hoped for. My little mark on the world, for Maisie.
So for this year’s Baby Loss Awareness Week, I want to offer Yellow Day for the sale price of £20 – available between 9th October and 15th October. If you do order one to remember someone, please let me know their name so that I can include a little handwritten message in the cover for you – if you’d like one.
Go gently.
Yellow Day Book
Yellow Day Book: an illustrated poem about grief.