A story of Mitochondrial Disease
It has been a very long time since my last post, and life has been exceptionally busy (I am currently typing this one handed with Maisie's baby brother in my arms - but that is another story); but today is the start of this year's Baby Loss Awareness Week. When you're in the baby loss… Continue reading Baby Loss Awareness Week 2021
It's been a long time since my last post, and lots of things have happened. One of those things is that now that Lowen is at school, I have a lot more time on my hands. And my number one priority is finally publishing my book: Yellow Day, a story about grief. This book has… Continue reading Yellow Day
Christmas is a strange time for a lot of people. It is meant to be this perfect time, full of festive cheer, snow on the ground, love and laughter, but the reality for most is not the case: many can't afford it, others are working, some are going through divorce. Rather than making people happy,… Continue reading Christmas after loss
15th June 2018 Today was the day of Maisie's big operation. We wake up early, 5am, so I can pump before we go down to the hospital. Shower and get ready to go.We make our way down the hill and I suddenly feel very nervous, for the first time since getting to Bristol. We hold… Continue reading Operation day
Thursday 14th June Today is my 32nd birthday - one of the strangest birthdays ever. But I really don't care. My birthday is irrelevant. I can't remember much of it. But I'm relieved that they aren't planning on Maisie's surgery today. She is doing really well and is stable, so they are hoping for Friday… Continue reading Part Five
Wednesday 13th June We visit Maisie early in the morning. She looks a lot better. With colour in her cheeks. It is wonderful to see her. I miss her so much. As a mum you're used to your newborn being permanently attached to you: either feeding, cuddling, rocking or holding. So it was strange being… Continue reading Part Four
Treliske at 7am The next few hours are a bit of a blur (and I didn't write any of the rest of Maisie's story down - so I'm now going on last year's memory). I remember our consultant telling nurses and doctors to urgently get different medicines. The doctor who has been looking after Maisie… Continue reading Part Three
So, the doctors believed Maisie had an infection, but they also needed to rule out heart problems (which was highly unlikely). As parents your mind always wanders to worse case scenarios - but you never really believe the worst could ever happen, that just happens to other people, right? The plan that night was to… Continue reading Part Two
It is hard looking back to the last few days before Maisie was admitted to hospital. Looking at photos and videos you can really see her struggling and looking quite sick. But she'd also pick herself up, look calm and chilled out - so she'd always trick us, and all the professionals! For a few… Continue reading The first hospital visit, Part One
And everyone is besotted. The house is full of flowers and a sea of pink. Wisteria blossom falls and blows through the front door. Lowen meets his new baby sister and gives her kisses. All the grandparents see her and fall in love. Her first trip to the beach and she sleeps the whole time.… Continue reading She is here