So, I'm officially in my last week of maternity leave. Which is incredibly strange without a baby here. I should be worrying about childcare, all those colds they get in the first days at nursery, and feeling sad about leaving my baby for the whole day for the first time. But this is not how … Continue reading The end of maternity leave…

I've been meaning to write for a while, and have a number of half started blog posts. There is always so much to write, it is difficult to know where to start. It is four months today that we said goodnight to Maisie. Which is incredible when she was here for less than six. Time … Continue reading Update

I am in two minds about whether to share this post, as I really don't want to upset anyone, and it is quite a confusing topic. But I think it is also important to be honest about the thoughts and feelings that come with grief - to hopefully normalise some of it, so here it … Continue reading Comparing grief

So. Here is the post I hoped never to write, and definitely not so soon. I began writing this several weeks ago, but have only just now finished it... On 21st November, a cold, wet, dark Wednesday night, our beautiful Maisie passed away. Our fighter, coy smiler, first daughter, water baby, lover of lights, baby … Continue reading Untitled

Since the last blog post, we've been in and out of hospital, and currently, we are in again! She just hasn't been herself. Really tired and irritable, sometimes seeming like she is in pain. There are lovely times when she can seem quite relaxed for a while, but she isn't as happy and excited as … Continue reading Mitochondrial disease

It probably sounds totally insane, but the past few weeks (once the initial shock of Maisie's diagnosis - or probable diagnosis had passed) have been some of the happiest in my life. Not only do I have all that I have ever wanted: a perfect family of four, I also appreciate it more than I … Continue reading A difficult week

When we found out about Maisie's heart condition, one of the things we wanted to do was hold a little gathering to celebrate her, and have something positive to look forward to. We're not the most religious family, but we all love singing hymns and the sense of community you get from church, so we … Continue reading Blessing

It is Baby Loss Awareness Week this week. I've never been more aware of Baby Loss than ever before. And it terrifies me to think how involved I could possibly be at next year's campaign. We are in a very unusual situation right now. The vast majority of baby loss comes suddenly, as a complete … Continue reading Grief

At 3 months old, we're only just really getting to know Maisie - her likes and dislikes, her character. When we thought we were loosing her at only two weeks old, something we found really sad was that we didn't feel like we knew who she was yet. We hadn't had time to get to … Continue reading Maisie

So, where are we so far? Baby Maisie is currently 15 weeks and five days old: 110 days. 110 days she has been here with us. For 110 days, Lowen has been a big brother, we have been parents to two children, Auntie Jenny and Auntie Abby have a niece and Ally, Derek, Jan and … Continue reading Waiting…